The Cook Islands

We arrived in the early morning and were greeted at the airport with a guy playing a banjo and singing to us, then we got through customs and were given a flower necklace and a bottle of well needed water!! It was scorchio even at 0630 in the morning. We got on our transport and brought us to our guesthouse. It was amazing, just over the road was the clearest sea I've ever seen and the house has 2 dogs that were abandoned by their owners and kinda just live there, they have no names but follow the guests everywhere and spend the day with you at the beach etc. We arrived and went straight to bed after the long 10 hour flight from LA and minimal sleep on the plane. In the afternoon we met the other guests and Patrick from Ireland was actually from NZ and some other foreigners were here but were leaving the next day, then I met Michael, well we didn't know it at the time but Michael is special needs, so I tried to talk to him and he just stood there grunting and dribbling!! Its quite sad how he is and I don't think he'd had a shower since he got here!! Anyway we got settled in and checked out the beach immediately and it was like bath water and super clear, got me snorkel stuff on and went looking around. We saw a lot of life and some fantastic colours. The next day we went to get a licence for a scooter so we could bomb around the island with the newbie Al the Kiwi. So we all got our bikes and bombed round the islands and enjoyed our freedom!! We had the Czechs people here aswell, they were odd but might meet up with them in Oz as they live there. So with our scooters we checked out the snorkelling elsewhere round the Island, it was absolutely incredible. One day we decided to walk across to the other Island cause it was so shallow, halfway across I got bitten twice on my ankle by these pretty fish but soon became my enemy, everytime we went into the water they would be waiting to terrorise us the little buggers!!!!! We went to an Island Night at the Roratonga Beach Resort and saw them dancing and had a big feed, went to the Vaimo twice and had beautiful food. Most of our time was taken up with sunbathing, it was hell!!

The people who run the Guesthouse are really nice, Mata the woman brings us fresh bread and fruit everyday for us all to eat, they don't live on the premises but a few miles up the road so we have the run of the house. Its great. Then the yanks arrived and a bit odd but we all seem to get along together and drink wine and play scrabblle!!

Nevada, Arizona and California

After the Grand Canyon it was on the road to Vegas for the weekend, yeah baby!!!! The journey to Vegas was boring to say the least, nothing to see for miles!!!! We made a detour to see the Hoover Dam which was impressive then got to Las Vegas!! We drove down the strip which was a massive mistake as it took us longer to drive about 3 miles than it had to get there from Grand Canyon!! We stayed at Circus Circus RV Park which was on the strip and got some Buds cracked open!! We hit the town went to the Coyote Ugly bar, the Harley Davidson bar, Nine Fine Irishmen in New York New York and got in about 7am and as you can imagine the next day was a write off!! The only way I could think of getting rid of my hangover was to go back out on the strip and drink more Bud!! We met the American family from hell in Nine Fine Irshmen and they eventually got kicked out!! We had a pool day next dat to get rid of hangovers and went shopping in Macys again!! We had an aqua massage which was a strange feeling but much needed. Last day in Vegas so did touristy stuff and went to see the Lion habitat in the Grand MGM, wnet to the M&M World thing that had a little 3D cinema thing, then did Madame Tussauds. We left Vegas late and got to Barstow late at night so slept at another truckers stop. Next norning we were back on the road to California. We finished Route 66 on Santa Monica Bld and was a nightmare, we couldn't park amywhere and RV parks were expensive, so we got a photo of the poxy plaque that signified the end of Route 66 and headed up to Santa Barbara in hope of a cheaper RV park. En route we stumbled across a state parl after Malibu and decided to kip here. We made a fire and was pretty cool, next day we went across the road to the beach for the day, the waves here were mental and took us out a couple of times!! We went in search for Bud that night and ended up staying at a place called Ventura in an expensive RV park. Next day we drove to Carpenteria and a state beach, got the bus into Santa Barbara where we shopped again!!Next day was Saturday and Leannes birthday, so we drove to Santa Barbara and to our next RV park. We went walking round the town again and got ready for the night out, we went for a mediocre curry then lots of booze!!!! Ended up in a club called Q and I chatted with a guy who sounded just like Edward Norton!! Next day was our last in the RV so had to pack and clean with a hangover, not good!! Next day we went to the address on out paperwork to hand the RV back, we eventually found it only to find they had moved premises 4 months ago but failed to update the paperwork ARGH!!!! Eventually got to the right place and by some miracle got our deposit back!! We checked into our hostel in Santa Monica that was in a really good place right near the pier. I got up early next morning and went for a run along the beach and there were loads of other roller bladers, runners and cyclists on the beach. Did some touristy stuff and checked out ther pier, 3rd St Promenadeand watched the sunset. That night a girl got kicked out of our room in the hostel for being on crack, it was funny!! Next day we decided we'd go and be in the audience of The Price is Right, it was funny and we were terrified in case we got called to come on down!!!! Luckily we didn't, that night we went to a lame comedy club. Nect day was an admin day and that night we found a british pub so thought we'd go for a couple of ciders................ we ended up not getting in til 2am and had a hangover from hell the next day and we were meant to be moving hostels to one in Hollywood. Well it was hair of the dog for me and it took about 4 hours to travel 15/20 miles, it was a nightmare!! Today was halloween so I went to a party arranged by the hostel, again the next day wasn't great and there was a massive thunderstorm. Next day was our last day in CA so did touristy stuff in a day. Had a look at the stars on th epavements and the hand prints. Then we got on a sightseeing tour that took us Downtown, round Hollywood and Beverly Hills. Thta night we went to LAX for our flight to the Cook Islands for a well needed rest!!

Oklahoma, Texas and New Mexico (Grand Canyon)

We arrived in at Tulsa, Oklahoma late at night and had to pitch up illegally again!!!! Next day we leave to check out the city, this could be done in a few minutes, but trying to get out the place was a bit of a nightmare, the signs just send you round in circles!! After about an hour of driving in Tulsa we get out and on the route 66 which is sign posted all the way to Oklahoma City, thankfully!! We arrive and go to the cinema then worry about somewhere to pitch up at midnight, not the greatest idea we've ever had. So we end up dumping it at a Uni then getting up at 6 am to move it to the Route 66 park. Checked out the city, and went to the museum of memorial of the Oklahoma City terrorist bomb in Apr 95, this was very sad and interesting!! We wnet bowling in the Route 66 bowling alley that night and was very cheap!!!! Amarillo was the next stop, and there was lots to do en rote. First we checked out the Route 66 park just by the lake we camped at, this took two seconds as it was all pretty shut and couldn't go up the observation tower. Next was a Route 66 automotive museum, we found it only to find it was closed due yo a robbery!! Further up the road was another museum on the history of the route that was quite cool, then across the road was the motel where Elvis stayed once but the people in there were very unfriendly so took a photo and left!! Next stop was the famous Graffitti Cafe which was no longer a cafe but a nut shop so couldn't get the famous soda we were hoping for, but got some tasty honey roasted nuts instead!! Our next town was called Elk City, this was home to the best pie in the world and the cafe was called Country Dove, a very religious place and the staff were so friendly they sat chatting for ages, long after they were meant to close!! We ploughed through more miles and not much to see on the road and then we hit Texas. We visited the Plo Druro Canyon in a place called Canyon, you can drive round it and was pretty cool, then we went to the uni for a swim. On our way out of Amarillo we went to the Don Harrington Discover Centre that was ace, then out in one of the fields are 10 random Cadillacs buried halway down, its called the cadillac ranch. On the road again and we hit the Midway Point Cafe, Adrian, which is exactly half way so we had a piece of pie and coffee there to celebrate!!!! Next stop was Santa Rosa, we went to a barn dance that night and got evil looks from the locals!! We stayed at the Santa Rosa State Park and Lake for free the next night. We checked out the Blue Hole in Santa Rosa just before we got on the road for Santa Fe. Journey to Santa Fe was boring, we stopped off at the mini Las Vegas and pretty much drove through Santa Fe then headed on to Alberquerque in hope that the big balloon festival was still on. We arrived late and kipped at a service station and in the morning we were woken to really heavy rain and the disappoinment of the balloon festival had finished just a couple of days before!! Typical!! We went to a place with the Petroglyph National Monument and was pretty much lost on me, it looked like someone had graffittied loads of rocks!! Then I ate my first Taco Bell, and possibly my last!! Back on the road to Gallup. We visited the painted desert and the petrified forest. It was scorchio but a very big State Park, its 28 miles long and amazing scenery and yet more petroglyphs!!!! After there was a place called Holbrook who had the Wig Wam Motel, we nearly stayed here but there wasn't anything to do so carried on up the road to Meteor City, the site of a meteor crash, this was pretty awesome. The crater itself is 1 mile deep and 2.4 miles across. We didn't have much time here at all as we made it by the skin of our teeth as usual!! Then onto Flagstaff where the noisiest trains in the world are. We just had a look round the town, not much to it here so got back on the raod to the Grand Canyon via a place called Williams where we had more cake and there was lots of Route 66 photo opportunities!! We arrived at Grand Canyon and pitched up at an RV site actually in the park and luckily for us they had just had a cancellation so we parked up and went to the canyon in time to see the sun set which was amazing. We went to some rangers brief that evening about wildlife that was intersting

Illinois, Missouri and Kansas

So after we left Chicago we head for Springfield. We've got this book that tells you all the worthwhile stop off en route, so our first stop is a place called Joviet. Not much here but a museum and lots of info about the route (apart from a map)!! Left there and had lunch further along in a weird little Elvis/Monroe tribute roadside cafe. Then we get incredibly lost as the signs just stop, the Route 66 road isn't used anymore and is only a historic route now so its not on any maps!! We eventually get to Springfield and we decide that we need a beer or two after the epic journey, so Leanne pulls up outside this shop to ask for directions, pulling away we hear a big crash, couldn't see anything on the ground. A guy came rushing out of his shop and looks up, so did we to see the awning of the shop hanging off, whoops!!!!! No getting away with that one!! So we went and got drunk then in our campervan at a campsite we didn't pay for cause it was so late by the time we got there!!!! Next day was ropey, we tried to look round Springfield but not much to see apart from Abraham Lincolns memorial. We found the police station to report the accident etc. Then it was a short drive to St Louis. Not much here either, they have an Arch thats massive near the river, we left quite early cause we were heading for Springfield, Missouri. This was the journey from hell!!!! There are very few sign posts on the route so got very lost, ended up doing about 100 miles more than we needed to and arriving at some truckers fuel stop late on. Had tea in a real greasy spoon cause we had no water, propane gas for the oven so a bit of a nightmare!!

Next morning we both had cheeky showers in the truckers bit and Leanne got told off, but used our British charm and ignorance!!! Next stop was Kansas, we thought this wouldn't be too tricky as its only 13 miles across!! Lots to see on the way to Kansas and we started at a place called Red Oak II. There is a museum there with a village thats been moved 20 miles and this artist called Lowell Davis created all these sculptures, it was awesome you could walk around this pretend village. The artist was there and was chatting to us, quite cool!! We then stopped off at a place with a big praying hands monument before we headed for a cafe called the Red Onion. After lunch we hit Kansas, saw the last standing Arch bridge, the famous Eisler Bros general store and finished in Foylin at the totem pole park that was amazing!!

Next stop Oklahoma..................................

New York, Chicago and the start of Route 66

So we flew out of Alaska and had to change planes 3 times and got into NY at half 5 in the morning, found our hostel eventually and went down to the basement and slept while Leanne went and shopped!! Went out in the afternoon and walked a bit of Central Park, then went into the city mooched about and had dinner in the Olive Garden. We got talked into doing one of these hop on - hop off bus tours so we did that at night. Next day was tourism on speed!!!! We had a lot to do in not a lot of time, so we got on one of these buses again and went to the Statue of Liberty on a ferry, then luckily for us the Empire State Building had people outside saying zero visibility. We took a chance and went up anyway, we could see for miles and didn't have to queue for hours yippee!!!!!! Then we found Macys which was a mistake, I bought 3 pairs of jeans and a coat, God knows where I'm gonna put them!!!! We had tea in the Hard Rock Cafe and got followed home by some weirdo!! Next day was our last in NYC so went for a run at Central Park, then managed to squeeze in Ground Zero before we headed for the Airport to Chicago.

We arrived in Chicago in the evening, got to out hotel and had a bath and a pamper that was needed. Then we made the mistake of going to the bar cause they had Coors light on offer $2 a pint, 4am I'm in the laundry room of the hotel playing drinking games!!!! Next day was Leannes court thing for the RAF so she was up and out early, luckily she sorted me a wake up call cause I'd still be there now in that comfy bed!!!! The taxi got me to take me to pick up the campervan of destiny!! The first thin I did when I got in it was sleep. Eventually met up with Leanne who had gone to the old premises that was 25 miles away!! We pitched up at some truckers parking place for the next 3 nights before we thought that we really ought to crack on with the 2500 miles at some point!! Chicago was cool, found another Macys damm it, and went up the Sears tower. Very good for shopping here and we also checked out the millenium park that was quite cool.

So next day we start Route 66!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

VANCOUVER, SEATTLE AND ALASKA

We arrived in Vancouver after a 4 hour bus ride to the HI Central hostel, it was rubbish. We put our bags in and went for a couple of beers to try and digest this crap place we were paying to stay at! So we get some food to cook and then we realise that there's only a microwave between everyone and the extractor fans were there for show!! We immediately looked for somewhere else to stay and booked in for the next night. If there were any doubts that we were doing the wrong thing were quickly gone when at 8am the room maid came in and started changing beds in the room where we were still sleeping, not happy!!!! Then we moved to Jericho Beach that was out of town but on a gorgeous beach where we monged for the day!! Next day we went to Stanley Park, we walked around and there were loads of things to look at and we met a pair of very tame racoons. For the next day we signed up for a city walk and lynn canyon day, a guy called Eric took us round all of Vancouver, even the dodgy Hastings area where all the homeless and drug addicts hang out. It was an amazing tour for the money and we went over a suspension bridge in a forest, that was cool. It took all day and we used a sea bus too which was cool. We were knackered but had agreed to meet some people for a comedy club night, when we were walking there Leannes flip flop snapped so she had a nightmare, and we were soooo late we just got in!! Had too much vino as usual!! Next day didn't feel like doing much so went and looked round town got some hangover food and chilled, that night we went for a greek meal with some people we met. Next day was our last day in Vancouver so checked out some stuff we missed like the sky harbour view tower and the library which is mental. We left for Vancouver Island on a sea plane, that was awesome and really want my PPL now!!!! Got to Manaimo and checked out the town then went for a few beers, didn't have long there, next morning we were off again on a Greyhound to Seattle.

First thing we noticed about Seattle was how much cheaper than Canada it was. We arrived quite late so most things were closed. Next day we had the mission of doing Seattle in a day, its impossible!! We started at the Space Centre where the Sky Needle tower is, looked at that but a guy told us to go to the Columbia Tower instead much cheaper and better views. After the space centre we went to find the troll under the bridge, it took us about an hour in the rain and flip flops and eventually found it. We got a bus back and went in search of Kurt Cobains memorial bench and house, we were soaking wet by the time we got there and had still loads to do. We headed for the Columbia tower only to find its not open on weekends ARGH!!!! So we thought we'd end the day with a cup of coffee from the very first Starbucks and of course lots of Buds!!!! Next day we headed for the airport for Alaska baby!!

We arrived at Juneau to freezing cold weather!! We got to our very weird hostel but couldn't get in til 5pm so we mooched about town. When we checked in the hostel the people were really weird, they had loads of rules and a curfew of half 10, so we realised then this wasn't the place for us. So we got our heads down the first night and next day did Mount Roberts and tried ro make it to the summit, but we got to about 3200ft and all we could see was nothing but clouds, so we abandoned that and went to the pub. While in the pub we met loads of people off the cruise ship and a local couple called Adelle and Floyd, they said the next day they would take us to the glacier to see bears for free, much to this businessmans disgust cause he was in the process of conning us!!!! So as we get talking to this couple they end up agreeing to foster us for the rest of our time in Juneau. Next day when the hangover had set in we mooched about town and then phoned the couple to see if their offer was still on, and it was. Within 5 mins they'd collected us and took us to the glacier where we saw a 3 yr old bear scratching his bum on some wooden fence, we were so close it was scary!! So they took us back to their place and we settled in and had wine and beers with them, and they even took us out for dinner!! Next day we did the perserverance trail, and was approx 8 miles then again went to the house to drink more beer and teach them shithead!! On our last day in Juneau we decided to do the glacier trail, it was really nice and walked about 5 miles, we were walking back to Adeles and Floyds house and just outside the park with the glacier I said to Leanne is that a bear over there? It shook its body and was across the road from us, so typical tourists reached straight for the camera, as we did it walked over towards us and this other couple were standing with us, so we went to walk off and I looked over and it was walking at the side of me and I looked round and the other 3 had stopped walking, I poohed my pants and panicked, luckily I stopped walking and moved slowly away and it went back over the other side of the road. Thats when we did our sharp exit. I had been moaning that I hadn't seen a bear in the whole 6 weeks we'd been away, but I didn't want to see the snot in its nose!!!!!! Next day New York bound...........................

BANFF, MOSQUITO CREEK AND WHISTLER

So after seeing a lot of nothing along the Prairies and after 2 pretty crappy nights sleep on the Greyhound we arrived in Banff. The Rockies are beautiful and we stayed in a place called Alpine Lodge that was really nice. Our first port of call in Banff was the town to buy some clothes that would keep us warm cause our summer gear wasn't up to the job!! Once kitted out with hat, gloves and more layers we walked round the town. That evening we met our room mates a couple of blokes from France (can't have everything!!!!) and went to the bar with them and got lashed!! Next day we decided we would take on a mountain, so we chose the smallest in our fragile state and it was called Tunnel Mountain and was 1000ft, took us an hour to get up and was amazing views of the town from the summit. In the afternoon we decided to do another trail called the Bow river to Hoodoos, it was a very scenic route with water falls and mountains eveywhere, it took us about 3 hours, and by the time we got back to the hostel we were knackered!!! Next day we were feeling adventurous so we took on Sulphur mountain, this was a 2300ft mission. It took us 2 hours to get to the summit where we were greeted with a load of lazy people who took the gondola up. We had lunch and ended up sharing most of it with a chipmunk we named fatty for obvious reasons!!!! We walked back down and at the bottom someone informed us that if you hike up, you can get the gondalo for free coming back down, cheers too little too late by then!!!! So we treated ourselves after our hard work to a hot springs sesh, it was 39 degrees and exactly what my body wanted!! Our last day in Banff and we just did a tame trail called the Fenland Trail, then it was back on the bus to Lake Louise to go to the not so civilised Mosquito Creek!!



After eventually managing to get someone to drop us off in the middle of nowhere on Highway 93, we found our new digs for the next 2 nights!! This place has no electricity, no running water and in the middle of nowhere so no signal on your phones, it was proper in the wilderness!!!!! We met Nick our bloke who ran it, you can tell he doesn't get to speak to many people cause we were talked at for hours it felt!! Me and Leanne were cold so thought that we could make a fire on the wood burning fireplace no problem, oh my god about an hour later we had the most pathetic little flame ever, so Nick had to teach us the right way, thought my militray days may have come in use but oh no!!!!! That night a group of Belgium blokes pitched up and we had beers with them until they decided to try and get the sauna working, it took them hours!! Next day we went for a hike on a trail across the highway, we didn't see much life and we crossed the creek and it was freezing, so no way was I going to bathe in that!! Then we checked out a load of waterfalls and headed back to our humble abode. Next day we did some wood chopping, and got a lift back to Lake Louise where we picked up our next greyhound for Whistler, another epic journey ahead of us!!

We arrived at Whistler early in the morning and felt like dog poo, so we immediately got to the hostel and got our heads down. We checked out the town that was a 3 mile walk from our digs cause we stayed in the creek not the village, very pretty little place. The next day we were feeling adveturous again and thought we would take on Mount Whistler and the tourist information guide bloke looked at us as if we were dreamers!! So we took it on and after about an hour and a half of almost scrambling up a mountain we gave up and came back down and managed to drink 2 litres of cranberry cider each with our tea!! The next morning was ropey to say the least, my head was pounding and again vowed I'd never touch another drop of Satans drop!! We got our sorry asses out of bed in the PM and went for a tame walk around one of the trails for a few hours. So we had an early night again to prepare ourselves for the last Greyhound leg in Canada to Vancouver..........................

TORONTO, NIAGARA AND THUNDER BAY

Well we arrived in Toronto after a 14 hour Greyhound epic, and went immediately to a bar for a well deserved beer!! It was late so got some kip. The next day we did all the touristy stuff, we went to the centre of Toronto and everyone was queing so being sheep we just got in the queue and had no idea what for. After an hour it came to our turn and these companies were just giving stuff away, very odd!! So then we got our tickets for the CN Tower and went up, it was a really good view from up there and there's a glass floor so when you look down it makes your head weird!!!!! That night we went to see We Will Rock You and was awesome. The next day we just monged round Toronto waiting for our next Greyhound epic to Niagara. Got to Niagara and had a chinese dinner yum yum!!



In Niagara we checked out the falls in the day and they are amazing, then cause it was a friday there's a big fireworks display on in the evening when the falls are illuminated, very nice. We also bought some of the worlds most expensive cigarettes here, they were $14!! Then we had the challenge of getting ourselves physically and mentally prepared for the next greyhound epic, and overnighter to Thunder Bay!!!



It wasn't too bad a journey and arrived at a very friendly hostel called the Sleeping Giant and got there just in time for Labour Day where everywhere closes for the day, so we quickly had to get some alcohol supplies in and of course something to absorb the alcohol.....food!! So while everywhere was closed we borrowed bikes and biked all over and went to the Old Fort and saw nothing!! Then that evening we went to the harbour and went on a sailing boat as crew with 3 guys, it was a laugh and they plied us with rum, it was hell!! On our last day in Thunder Bay we wandered around and went swimming, then that evening before our bus journey we met a woman called Gail in the hostel who took us to a rubbish dump to see bears. Luckily we managed to see one running away with a bag full of rubbish, it was cool!! Then that night we were Banff bound...................... 2 days on a Greyhound argh!!!

Boston, Montreal and Quebec City

The story so far............................. well we arrived in Boston and wern't offered any drugs like we were told we would!!!! We stayed in a hostel dorm with smelly boys and a couple of girls. It was OK, and were a stones throw to the tube. We did some Freedom Trail thing where we walked around for hours looking at buildings and stuff and clocked up about 20 miles in me flip flops!! That was day one, then we went to a place called Cape Cod after loads of people reccommended it, well we got a ferry over and it was where all the gay people of America flee on that day I think. There was a zillion gay pride flags and witnessed tha campest game of volleyball I have ever seen!! Then Leanne wanted to go to a place called Salem, this is where loads of witchcraft took place and as the yanks love all that kinda stuff we were bombarded with crap things you could buy and ended up going to a museum that had some kind of weird show telling us the history. We left soon after!!

It was then time for us to leave Boston and head to Montreal, we got to the airport and were told that " we had been selected for extra security screening", they made it sound like we were lucky!! So after the security guys ramsacked our bags we got on the plane. We arrived in Montreal and dragged our god dam bags (which I have named my Damien) for about 2 miles, lost me sense of humour a bit. We stayed in a really nice hostel and were amazed how much free stuff they give you. We hired bikes out for a day and went up to Mont Royal which was hard work especially in a zillion degrees!! Then we found the bike track that we were meant to take and it appears it was a lot less steep!!!! Hindsight hey!! Then as a reward for this we had a lazy day by a pool sunbathing!! We checked out the Olympic stadium and this thing called the Biosphere, which I still can't work out if it a work of architectural genius or an eye sore!! That was about it for Montreal and have to say I had no idea just how French that place is, it gets a bit annoying!!

We then left Montreal and were Quebec City bound and I thought in my naivity that we would at last have some English speaking people, how wrong was I!! Quebec City is very pretty and is on two levels, we checked out this massive chateau thing called the Frontenac and went to the Parliament place and had a guided tour round there in French so we just laughed and nodded when everyone else did!! We only had a couple of nights there and it was enough, we then headed for Toronto on an epic bus journey on a bus called the greyhound. Just before we set off some Canadian people in our hostel told us that 2 weeks previous a guy on that same route had been stabbed to death and had his head cut off, cheers guys!! But they said it was really unlikely it would happen again!!!!